Simple shopping made complicated

This shopping business is too much for us to understand!

My wife went into our local 99p shop, which has huge posters saying (not surprisingly) everything is 99p. So she bought two items and went to the till to be told the bill was £1.88.

How does that work? Confused, she asked for the receipt, and that's what it says, £1.88. It also says it was one item (which it wasn't, it was two) and she was served by a girl, which doesn't quite tie up with the man's name on the receipt!

But never mind, mustn't complain about a bargain!

A happy birthday

Last week was my birthday. My wife agreed to buy me some clothes so we went shopping at Lakeside. Then we had a meal there at Cafe Rouge. It was later that I suddenly asked myself, "What's happening to me? I've spent my birthday evening by choice at Lakeside of all places!!" When we were in Suffolk they talked about getting Suffolkated if you get the pun. I don't know what the equivalent word is for Essex (and I don't think I want to know!), but it may be happening to me!

By the way, have you heard this joke (it loses a little in it being written rather than said). Name a favourite Essex wine. Answer, I wanna go to Lakeside!