Too Much Energy Needed to Swap Tariffs!

We've heard from Chris Huhne at the Lib Dems conference today that energy companies are going to have to make it easier for consumers to spot cheaper deals and switch suppliers. Take our situation for example. We've been with e-on for nearly a year now - the deal was good at the time I took it out. They have written to me to say the deal I had with their SaveOnline 3 tariff is coming to an end and they are transferring me to their Energy Online tariff. This they will do automatically if I don't get in touch; as they say, "you don't need to do anything else, we'll take care of everything."

But it then says, if I don't want to renew, I should have a look at their website where they are sure there's a deal just right for me.

So I have a look, and there is one, namely SaveOnline 10, which seems just about the same as what I'm already on! So I ring them up and ask why they haven't suggested I go onto this tariff. Ah, well, they tell me, that would involve going on to a new contract and they are not allowed by the watchdog to tell me about it!

Either there is something very badly wrong with the current regulations or they are lying! Or maybe it's a bit more complex. Maybe they make the most attractive tariff a new contract, so they don't have to tell me about it. Then they can try to 'con' me by automatically moving me to a more expensive rate.

Whatever the truth of it is, something needs doing about all this! With my estimated consumption for a year, this is how the monthly figures work out according to the spreadsheet I have created in order to try to compare prices:

Current tariff (which I'm on at the moment):	£80.45
New tariff (that they will put me on if I don't do anything):	£96.83
Alternative tariff (according to their website):	£90.07

As Chris Huhne said today, "We want simpler tariffs." Indeed we do!

(sorry about the big gap above, but the nice blog editing program seems to want to put lots of extra lines in before my table; even though I delete them, it puts them straight back! The trials and tribulations of blogging!)

Birthday

It's my wife's birthday today and we began it with breakfast in bed - Buck's Fizz and croissants! Then we went up to London and on to the "London Duck Tour". If you've been around Central London you've probably seen it - an amphibious craft from the second world war, now painted yellow and a tourist ride around London. Two other modifications, they've put a roof on it and removed the machine gun from the bonnet!

The great thing about it is, not only does it tour round the roads of Central London, it also drives in to the river and we went from Vauxhall Bridge (where there is a slipway) up to Westminster Bridge and back. See photo below to prove it.

Then we had lunch in Strada at the Royal Festival Hall (with a little help from Tesco vouchers). Finally we walked back along the river to Tower Bridge, then to Fenchurch Street Station and the journey home.

A very pleasant day, rounded off with supper at home. We weren't very hungry after out 3 course lunch, but fried egg on toast fitted the bill nicely! And completely scuppered any last shred of my wife's diet today. But it is her birthday! Back to yoghurt and Ryvita tomorrow!




Westminster Bridge with County Hall (where I worked many years ago) and the London Eye.

Living Less Safely?

I went into Wlkinsons (other cheap shops are available) and bought a pair of cycle clips. I know you don't wear them if you're young and trendy and riding a bicycle, but if I don't use them, I manage to get grease and dirt onto my trouser leg from the cycle chain.

To my surprise, they aren't "cycle clips", they are "trouser bands". Nothing like a new name to make something (a bit) more fashionable!

But then I noticed the card they came on (see below). There are two cyclists, and NEITHER are wearing cycle helmets!

What with that AND the proposed abolition of "Sell by" dates, are "health & safety" a little on the back foot? Maybe life is becoming a little more exciting again!

Eating out

For our wedding anniversary we went out for a meal to a nice restaurant. Although it was Tuesday evening, most tables were taken and I think most (if not all) of the people had booked.

My wife had read an article about how people can't be without their mobile phones, even when eating out. So we looked around, and there they were. Quite a number of people had sat down, taken out their phones and placed them on the table next to the cutlery. What is this "I can't be without sight of my mobile phone for a minute" complex that so many of us seem to have? I'm sure they weren't all "doctors on call" or afraid the babysitter couldn't cope.

I must confess that we did have our phones in our pockets, but we had no contact with them during the meal at all - honest!

By the way, the chef is clearly taking the mickey on this wonderful county. Obviously he has seen The Only Way is Essex on the tele. On the dessert menu was

Essex rhubarb fool tart

Every word an insult!

Simple shopping made complicated

This shopping business is too much for us to understand!

My wife went into our local 99p shop, which has huge posters saying (not surprisingly) everything is 99p. So she bought two items and went to the till to be told the bill was £1.88.

How does that work? Confused, she asked for the receipt, and that's what it says, £1.88. It also says it was one item (which it wasn't, it was two) and she was served by a girl, which doesn't quite tie up with the man's name on the receipt!

But never mind, mustn't complain about a bargain!

Wedding anniversary

It's our forty second wedding anniversary today. After my wife's brilliant birthday card to me last month ( see www.ericgreymatters.blogspot.com/2011/07/birthday.html ), she
triumphed again with my anniversary card. I could have kicked myself that I didn't think of it ...

Here's the outside:

And here's the inside:

(Of course, you have to be a Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy fan to understand. If you're not, too bad!)

First of all, I must say that there's no justification for the riots that happened a fortnight or so ago. And the courts are right to come down hard on those arrested and found guilty. But people are now asking why it happened. Do the poor have a reason to at least protest in our country's current situation?

We are told by the Prime Minister that we must all "tighten our belts". But on the other hand, the government want to abolish the 50% income tax rate on income over £150,000 a year. Most (if not all) of those who caused the banking crisis were in that income bracket. The poor, who had nothing to do with the crash are suffering all kinds of cutbacks in welfare, benefits and so on.

Even for the young who are fortunate enough to be in work, mortgages are near impossible to get unless you have a whacking great deposit saved up, rents are hitting new highs, commuter costs (petrol and rail fares) just keep rising and let's not even start to talk about escalating fuel bills. Those who leave university are being saddled with great debts which are likely to hang over them for many years.

Patrick Collinson, the editor of the Guardian's Money section, wrote on Saturday that he would be the last person to condone the mindless destruction that we've seen recently, but adds,
if we step back a few paces, and we consider how we are abandoning that far larger, law-abiding, younger generation, we should be ashamed of ourselves.

============================

Meanwhile, in America ...

Warren Buffet, one of America's richest people, wrote in the New York Times last week about how little tax he pays. He said about his tax bill last year,

what I paid was only 17.4 percent of my taxable income — and that’s actually a lower percentage than was paid by any of the other 20 people in our office. Their tax burdens averaged 36 percent.

He concludes,

My friends and I have been coddled long enough by a billionaire-friendly Congress. It’s time for our government to get serious about shared sacrifice.

Is it any different in the UK? I fear not. Those who are struggling to survive have many reasons to feel aggrieved. The question is this, will the government listen to them before there are more riots?

Compelling Reason for Cutting carbon

They say it's the "silly season" in August concerning the news; i.e. nothing much is happening so news stories bordering on the ridiculous get 'aired'. However, with what's happened in the UK recently and what's happening now in places like Libya and Syria, one can't say there's little news around.

Even so, I read last Friday that there's a new compelling reason for cutting our carbon emissions and this is from a report from no less than Nasa.

And the reason is - to lessen the danger of alien attack!

They surmise that as global warming on our planet can be observed from outer space, there just could be alien races out there looking at what's happening to our planet, and they just may be ecologically aware and decide to destroy us before we destroy our planet.

So, two things to learn from this:

1. Cut down your carbon footprint;

2. Learn to say "I'll take you to our leader" in as many languages as possible.

Flying too fast?

It was billed as the world's fastest plane, the Falcon HTV-2, which could fly from London to Sydney in less than an hour (just think, it wouldn't matter if you hadn't paid for an in-flight meal - not long enough to eat it anyway!). HTV stands for Hypersonic Technology Vehicle and it's been developed by the USA.

The first test flight in April last year was aborted after nine minutes. It reached a speed of mach 22 then "the onboard computer detected an anomaly" & it ditched the plane into the ocean "for safety reasons". I've heard of 'anomalies', they encounter them in Star Trek, and they can be very nasty!

A couple of weeks back they were ready to for the second test flight. But apparently they lost contact with the plane and they say they assume it ditched into the sea again.

But I don't believe that. I reckon when it reached full 'hypersonic' speed it crossed to another dimension - probably through one of those anomalies. Or maybe it shot into the future and one day it will appear again ...

How to waste £11bn. It's easy really, just ask the NHS!

The £11bn NHS computer system to create and make available all patients' records has been a failure, so a report from MPs says. £6.4bn has already been spent on what turns out to be an unworkable system.

What on earth have they been doing? It's not that they have to do anything complex with the information - just collect it and make it available. No complicated maths or manipulation of the data, it beggars belief! How many extra operations could have been paid for with the money they've wasted ?

I worked in "information technology" thirty years ago (although it wasn't known as IT then). In those days a systems analyst investigated the systems being used and how they could be transformed by a computerised system. To do this, you had to "get your hands dirty" by investigating what people actually did, and what system they actually needed. Sometimes people didn't do that step rigorously, as they thought they knew best what the customer needed. It was those computer systems that turned out to be disasters.

But that was, as I said, 30 years ago. Surely the industry has learned that basic lesson by now? Apparently not. The committee of MPs said, "the department could have avoided some of the pitfalls and waste if they had consulted at the start with health professionals."

In other words, highly paid managers think they know what's best without bothering at ask the people who will actually work the system.

Sadly, lessons are never learnt. And the same story will be told in the future about some other massively costly computer system. And it's our money that's being poured down the drain.

Holiday Drinking

As we sat on the beach, I said to my wife, “I need to hydrate.” What I meant was, “I’m thirsty.” The reason for the comment was the news that much of the nonsense told us by companies that sell bottled water is just that – nonsense. You don’t need to drink umpteen litres of water a day in order to stay ‘hydrated’. Our bodies have been telling us for thousands of year when we need to drink – we get thirsty.

Other nonsense about tea and coffee not counting has also been debunked. What’s more, there’s water in fruit and vegetables, so eating your five a day is also helping your fluid intake. Coupled with the price of most bottles of water, it’s quite a relief! Although I find that the thing by the sink provides a good, cheap, drinking source, even if you’re on a meter!

But just one point – Hooray for Euro Shopper’s bottle of water purchased in the Isle of Wight – 29p for half a litre! Less than half the price you norally pay. And a sell by date of a year’s time. Well, you know how water can go off!

GDP = Gloom, Doom & Pessimism

The good news is that the UK’s economy has grown in the last three months. The bad news is, apparently, the 0.2% growth isn’t enough. But there are extenuating circumstances, of course.

First up, there was a royal wedding. Forget the 'feel good' factor, what counts is it's bad for the economy! Presumably not enough commemorative mugs and union flags were sold.

Then there was the unseasonably warm weather. But that’s good, isn’t it? We’re always being told to conserve our energy. But that’s the problem; when we do, we spend less on gas and electricity! So come on everyone! Turn up the heat and give our GDP a boost! Forget the carbon emissions; after all, we all want Britain to be great again, don’t we?

Quote of the Week

According to the financial section of the paper, the company BG is drilling for oil and gas in Brazil and has recently doubled its estimate of the reserves there. Their CEO, Frank Chapman, explained it thus, “The reservoirs are really performing at the extreme upside end of the expectation spectrum.”

Oh dear!

Chocolate

Do you remember a certain brand of chocolate used to advertise "a glass and a half of milk in every bar"? Well, this lunchtime I ate one such bar, and happened to notice in small print on the wrapper:

"The equivalent of 426ml of fresh liquid milk in every 227g. of milk chocolate."

It may satisfy weights and measures but it doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it?

Birthday

It was my birthday on Saturday. First of all, thank you to all my Facebook 'friends' who wished me a happy birthday! I took the day off as I'd seen a kite festival advertised on Dunstable Downs, not far from where one of our daughters lives.

So we arranged with them to meet up there at noon, have a picnic lunch and enjoy the kites. However, this was Saturday, the day of the downpours. It's quite interesting six people having a picnic in one car, with the windows tight shut to keep the rain out! But it was a good day. It cleared up long enough to see some kite displays, including four kites 'dancing' to music. I never knew people did such things! There's a whole unexplored world out there...

Below is the card my wife sent me, which she made herself (as she does all the cards we send). I know it gives away my age, but I thought you'd like to see it. On the front it says:

And inside:

Grammar, the Bible and Translation

I was preparing my sermon on Psalm 23, ("The Lord is my shepherd ..."), and I found out the the New International Version of the Bible, which I use, has just completed a revision. Its last major revision was 1984. The new revision has been available on the web since last November and you should now be able to buy the books.

I also didn't realise that the Committee on Bible Translation meets on an ongoing basis to review the latest scholarship and also common English usage. Although they say 95% of the latest revision remains the same as the 1984 revision, I found that Psalm 23 had five changes!

My own opinion on why this is the case is that in previous revisions, they had not wanted to stray too far from the King James Version when it came to well known passages like Psalm 23. However, that seems to be no longer the case. So gone is "the valley of the shadow of death", replaced by "the darkest valley", which just about every other modern translation has. Also gone are the "paths of righteousness", replaced by "right paths", which is much clearer (or, to put it another way, what exactly are "paths of righteousness"?).

I think their latest translation of Psalm 23 is very good, and for your interest, here it is (italics indicate the changes I've noticed):

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Another aspect of English interested me as I read the translators' notes. It was the use of gender neutral 'them' to refer back to a singular noun or pronoun, rather than having to say, "him or her", or something similarly clumsy. We all do it in spoken English, for instance, you might say to a group of people, "If someone can give me a lift, I'll wait for them in the car park." The plural "them" refers back to "someone", which is singular. But this is now officially alright to use! I need no longer sweat about what to me is bad grammar.

In fact, in a recent blog below on political correctness I wrote,

For instance someone isn't deaf, he or she is hearing impaired.

But I could have said "someone isn't deaf, they are hearing impaired." Not only is it politically correct, it's now grammatically correct as well!

Posh crisps

We have a picnic basket- you know, the proper wicker type with cutlery, etc, inside. We hadn't used it for some years and as the Sunday School were going for a picnic up to Westley Heights on Whit Sunday, I said, "Let's take our picnic basket!"

So we did, and it poured with rain and having a picnic on the church hall floor wasn't quite how I'd imagined it ... But we did still use the basket and the picnic blanket!

So I said, one Monday off when it's fine, we must use it again! Well this last Monday was VERY fine, so down to Chalkwell we went with our picnic. Brilliant!

I offered to go out to buy some items for the picnic and my wife said to buy some crisps, but some 'nice' ones! So off I went to Lidl and bought their own brand 'Ideal' crisps, which were very nice and I can recommend them.

What amused me was the front of the packet. You can see they've done a tasteful arrangement of the ingredients: a sack of potatoes, a dish of sea salt and a stack of peppercorns. But the vertical writing on the left hand side reads, "Serving suggestion"!

Presumably this was to ensure no-one was expecting the bag to actually hold a sack of potatoes (a clue would have been its weight). But, actually, it's not a serving suggestion. I defy anyone to serve up crisps looking like a sack of potatoes!

Quote of the Week ...

As I've blogged before about the silly things that are said in rail announcements, I enjoyed reading an article recently by David Marsh, on "why Railspeak should be terminated".

Having given some examples, he says,
The result of all this is not effective communication but the creation of a gulf between the language used by its speakers and those on the receiving end... Hyper-correct, hyper-polite language may be well intended but comes across as patronising and insincere.

I must admit to thinking on a number of occasions, when listening to an announcement, "Why doesn't he forget the script and just talk in normal language?" Of course, the answer probably is, if he did so, it would be a disciplinary offence and he'd receive a verbal warning - if he could understand it.

Read the full article at

www.guardian.co.uk/media/mind-your-language/2011/jun/26/railspeak-terminated-train-station-language?INTCMP=SRCH

Newspapers

I read an article in the paper today about the threatened demise of the newspaper, as people are using the web and so on for news. I mean, all you need to know is on Twitter! It doesn't matter if it's true or not, the gossip's the thing!

But on second thoughts, can you believe what you read in the newspaper? Apparently most people think not. In a recent Ipsos Mori survey asking people whom they trusted to tell the truth, journalists obtained only 19%. But they weren't bottom! Politicians scored 14%. Most trusted were doctors with 88% of people generally believing they told the truth.

It was a bit of a shock, though, that clergy only got 68%. Maybe I need to stop telling funny stories in my sermons. Perhaps people take them seriously.

I saw an advert in a local Southend paper for a 'mobility' shop. It said it was also "continence specialists". I know that we have to be politically correct and positive about things. For instance someone isn't deaf, he or she is hearing impaired. But I think the shop meant they were "incontinence specialists". After all someone who is continent doesn't need specialist help.

But the thing that really caught my eye was an "all terrain mobility scooter". What?? Do they want to go down the Olympic bike track (near Hadleigh castle)? Or do some people in Southend have such really dodgy pavements between their houses and Tesco's?

Sorry to go on ...

I'm sorry to go on about this, but the latest in our abuse of the vulnerable is that many elderly people who are "cared for" at home are having their human rights ignored. Problems include visits far too short, with the client having to decide whether to be washed OR have a meal prepared for them; being left in bed for 17 hours; being left in filthy nightwear and bedding after a visit; and so on.

Unfortunately, this is not news for people in my profession. We see it far too often. It's another case of the "private sector" not doing the work it's paid to do. It follows on the Panorama expose of Winterbourne View where vulnerable people were being shockingly abused by staff. and that place cost the taxpayer £4 million a year!

So, are we learning from all this? Of course not! The NHS must have more private sector involvement, we are told by the Government. It will save money. Yes, it might, but at what human cost? Winterbourne View and home care for the elderly give us a clue as to that cost.

New Life!

In the garden at our church an acorn has managed to germinate in the stump of an old tree. New life growing out of dead wood!

That must be a sermon illustration for something. Except that I'm not convinced it will survive, and that wouldn't bode well for the sermon!

So just enjoy the picture.

More batteries required!

A week ago I blogged about how so many things that used to just work, now need power. For instance, watches and clocks that we quite happily used to wind up, now require batteries.

And so it continues. I heard on the radio a brief mention of electronic gear changing on a bicycle. Mind you it costs over £1,000!

And one of the best yet - an electric salt and pepper mill! Yes, you don't have to do the grinding, just press a button and it's done for you. Wow! I'd heard of this some time back, but on the front of a catalogue for a well-known office stationers, I see they are giving away one free when you place your next order. And alongside the advert it tells you not to forget the batteries! You can get two packs (you need six batteries) from them from only £9.16 (plus VAT, of course).

So that's it - £10 to get a free gift to actually work. I'll stick to the old manual grind, I think!

Quote of the Week ...

My quote of the week goes to Simon Hoggart from his 'week', in The Guardian on Saturday.

More and more this is a country run by the rich and well-placed on behalf of the rich and well-placed. Which is how they organised things in Soviet Russia, until the people realised they were being conned.

Charity Bags

Do you get as many bags to fill for 'charity' as we do, I wonder? With about two a week coming through our letterbox, how much spare clothing do they think we have??

Today's is "Do not delay!" and is to help prevent breast cancer in Lithuania. It does not appear to be a charity, so there's no way of knowing how much money is raised and how much of it goes to breast cancer screening.

Kidney Research UK, whose bag arrived recently is a charity, and according to its most recent published accounts, just over 50% of its expenditure was on its charitable activities. I'll leave you to decide whether or not that's a reasonable amount. Just for comparison, the Baptist Missionary Society spent around 94% of its income on its charitable activities, according to their latest accounts.

A few days ago it was "The Hand of Help", who admit they are a commercial company "who helped the disabled children and will do so in the future." Good for them! But their bag, like the rest will be turned inside out and used for putting out our rubbish, as our council is no longer supplying us with plastic sacks.

If we have clothing, etc., we want to throw out, we it take to a local charity shop, so we know where the money is going to.

Private sector make millions at our expense - again

So let me get this right. Southern Cross are running of lots of care homes for the elderly. Then they thought it a great idea to sell off the properties and lease them back. But now they can't afford the rents and have asked the landlords to accept a 30% reduction of the rent (just for the time being, of course!).

In fact I heard that's what happened to Woolworths. It wasn't that trade was that terrible - they just could no longer afford the rent on the properties they had previously sold.

When are our political masters going to "get it"? Public services are services for the public - the clue is in the title! It's not that difficult! But when you put public services into the hands of the private sector, they are in it to make money, not to serve the community. So the shareholders get their whack and the bosses get ridiculously high salaries and the elderly, vulnerable people suddenly find their future very uncertain.

Of course, we could go back to Railtrack. You remember them, the private firm that ran the railway track and made wonderful profits, until surveys after a fatal crash showed that they were not, actually, doing the job they were supposed to. Then for months on end rail travellers were burdened with longer journey times because of speed restrictions, and massive engineering works at weekends.

But back to the sale of care homes. The question I haven't got the answer to is this - where did the £1 billion they got from the sale of the homes actually go to??

Electricity and Climate Change

I read last week that carbon emissions are up again and we are well on the way to a two degree rise in global temperatures, which is not good news for our grandchildren, although I'm sure I will be well gone before it happens.

It started me thinking on how much more we use electricity these days - either mains or batteries. To start with, we used to just have a telephone which was plugged into the landline, and didn't need a mains cable. Now we have a cordless handset so we don't have to jump up to answer it - it's there by our side - but, of course, we CAN walk around the house whilst speaking on it! Also we need to regularly charge up our mobile phones.

Then there are simple things that used to be mechanical, but now have to be electronic for some reason; like bathroom scales and kitchen scales that worked quite well with a spring. And do you recall when we used to wind up our watches and clocks?

My old 35 mm camera didn't need a battery to work - I adjusted it myself, but now one can't even zoom on digital cameras manually (yes, I know on the expensive DSLR ones you can, but they're not the most popular models!).

Do you remember the old days when you switched off things like TV's? Now you switch to standby and a little red light reassures you it's still using up power.

And of course, what's the latest gadget? An electronic book! Those old paper things you could borrow free from a library - now they really are old fashioned!

About time too!

A report damning the sexual commercialisation of children is due out on Monday, but 'leaks' are in the papers today. Thank God someone has spoken up! It is, in fact, the CE of the Mothers' Union (which, interestingly is a man!) who has written the report, which makes a number of recommendations, including:

- banning advertising hoardings with "sexualised imagery" near schools and nurseries (why can't they be banned everywhere? After all, children are everywhere);
- a clampdown on sexual & violent stuff on TV before 9 pm;
- music videos to have age ratings, like films do;
- stopping the sale of inappropriate clothing for children which exploits their sexuality.

Mumsnet is also involved in this, and more power to both organisations! But it's also up to you concerned parents to speak up; don't think you are the only person who is worried about these things.

It is outrageous how commercial organisations are taking away our children's childhood. May this new report, entitled Let Children be Children begin a sea change in what is acceptable and unacceptable in society today concerning our children.

Detectives on TV

We watched the first episode of Scott & Bailey, the new ITV female detective duo. It began with one of them breaking up with her boyfriend and the 'angst' got worse as the story went on.

Why can't they do drama where there's a crime, which they solve, without the all calamatous personal life that seems to be compulsory these days?

Why can't they go back to the good old days with programmes like Dixon of Dock Green? Good clean police drama and no disfunctional families. I mean George Dixon used to live happily with Andy, his son-in-law, who was a detective. It was all so much simpler then.

Although, wait a minute, I hear Jack Warner has been accused of corruption ...

Those who rule ...

I noticed in the paper this week (and it was mentioned in passing on Have I got news for you?) that whereas 0.14% of the UK's population are in prison, 0.62% of MP's at the last parliament are in prison. That's over four times the national average.

I'll say no more.

Back in business!

My sincere apologies to my loyal blog followers. But now I'm back! It's 4th June and I'm blogging again.

But what about superinjunctions? Maybe I'll unwittingly let a cat out of a bag! And then what?

Superinjunctions seem to me to be a bit like working for the secret service. They used to say (and maybe they still do) that not only could you not tell anyone what you did, but also you couldn't tell them you couldn't tell them. So you had to say something vague about being a civil servant when asked by anyone what you did.

Superinjunctions work the same way. Not only can you not report a story, but also you can't say you can't report on it. And there, as far as I can see, is a big problem. Say I'm down the pub and someone mentions something about somebody famous (say, a footballer, to take a random example). If that's the subject of a superinjunction, how do I know? How can I possible know NOT to say something when no-one is allowed to tell me I'm not allowed to say it?

Or maybe there's a list somewhere. But that would rather defeat the purpose! And THAT reminds me something I heard of many years ago. A publisher had brought out a new edition of the works of Shakespeare, but with all the naughty bits cut out. Thus it was suitable for schoolchildren. But they put all those bits in an appendix! So now, little schoolboys didn't have to read through page after page to find the best bits, they were all conveniently listed at the back!

But I've gone off the original subject.... Suffice it to say that if I stop blogging again, it just MAY be I've violated someone's very expensive superinjunction.

All dressed up

I'm often the only one wearing a tie in church these days (although this morning one other person was). So it was comforting to see the weatherman, Matt Taylor on BBC1 this evening.

First of all, he did the Countryfile forecast in a casual open-necked shirt. But when he did the later forecast after the News, he was wearing suit, shirt and tie! It's good to know there are still some standards at the BBC.

So come on Nicholas Owen, put on that DJ ...

In the News ...

So the government have backed down on their proposal to sell of loads of publicly owned forests. The idea was that charities and businesses could buy bits and so through the "Big Society" people would have a say in what happened to them.

But there was such an outcry against it that the Minister got up in Parliament and apologised, admitting they got it wrong.

Perhaps the "Big Society" is working after all ...


And then, apparently (according to BBC Radio 2 News), a small Australian town called Speed is being renamed for a month Speed Kills as a road safety initiative. Also, one of its residents is changing his name from Phil Down to Phil Slow Down.

Just think, if he was proprietor of the local petrol station, he could change his name to Phil Up Slow Down. Just a thought.

Valentine's Day

According to the poster in their window, Argos suggested you buy a laptop for the one you love as a Valentine's Day present. WHAT??

I thought we showed our love by sending an unsigned card; not by shelling out 100's of £'s!

In fact, the card I sent my wife said,

Bunches of flowers could never convey
my total devotion on Valentine's Day

- and I added, "So I bought this card instead!"

But I DID buy some red roses today at Sainsbury's, as a result of their advert in the paper. And they were Fairtrade red roses (it seems awful that supermarkets and their buying power can so ruin things in a third world country, that we even have to consider whether or not flowers have been fairly traded - but I digress ...).

Back to the traditional card - according to legend, the first card Valentine card was sent by the saint himself, signed "From your Valentine". Hear the story on the Chris Evans Breakfast Show "Pause for thought" from Fr. Brian D'Arcy at

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/b00yj1gb/The_Chris_Evans_Breakfast_Show_Monday_Effort_Equals_Reward

about 2 hours 44 minutes into the show (but it will only be up there for a week).

Oh, and if you didn't buy that laptop for your beloved, I'm sure a son or daughter could do it for Mother's Day, when the aforementioned shop will no doubt have more great offers.

A better place?

We have watched the first two episodes of Outcasts, BBC's new scifi drama. A group of people are trying to set up home on planet Carpathia, as things have got so bad on earth. Mind you, setting up a new society isn't easy, as the programme explores.

A good manifesto for them could well be the "sermon on the mount" - words of Jesus as recorded in Matthew chapters 5 to 7 in the Bible. In it he tells us to pray:

Our Father in heaven,
may your name be hallowed
may your kingdom come
may your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.

I think the "on earth as it is in heaven" applies to all of the three statements above it. Not a bad prayer for the inhabitants of Forthaven, their settlement on the new planet. Although, of course they would have to change the prayer to "on Carpathia ..."

But it's an important prayer for us, each day, here on planet earth. We are praying that our society may be modelled more and more on God's heavenly order. In other words, the coming of God's kingdom here on earth.

If you pray the Lord's Prayer, keep praying!

Needing a job?

I've just received an advert for someone to work in the local Methodist Church community cafe for 20 hours a week. The advert says they are "looking for a part-time person to manage the Basildon Methodist Community Café project."

The first question I would want to ask any would-be applicant is, "What are they when they are not being a person?"

Height restriction

Queuing at our local Tesco petrol station, I noticed the height restrction sign. You may not be able to read it in the picture, but it says:

Height restriction 13' - 12" (4 m)

Now, when I was at school, if I remember rightly, 13' 12" was actually 14' !

You can't even get the staff at the sign writers!

Mobile muddle

I haven't told you about my recent problems with T-mobile, have I? It all started when I topped up my Pay-as-you-go phone with £15. I walked out of the shop with my receipt saying "payment successful" and waited for the text message to come telling me my account had been updated. But it never came. So I went into our local T-mobile shop and he rang "customer services". They said there had been a problem at that time and it would be credited within 72 hours.

Three days came and went, and nothing. So I rang them up on the said telephone. After a maze of options I finally managed to find someone to speak to. Although I needn't have bothered. You see, he wanted to know the name of the person who bought the phone. It was so long ago, at that point I had no idea, but he confirmed it wasn't me! He said without knowing who the account's name is, he couldn't talk to me about it. I said I didn't want him to tell me anything - just investigate why, in spite of my "payment successful" receipt, the amount hadn't been added. But he couldn't even initiate an investigation!

At one point he even suggested I returned to the shop I topped it up at, and asked them for my money back. As if our local newsagent would say, "Oh yes, it says payment successful, but if you say wasn't we will refund you your money." I don't somehow think so!

I later got a text asking that as I had recently spoken to one of their customer services staff, could I do a survey. This was by texting. So I did. Having gauged things like his helpfulness, whether I was satisfied, etc, I was able to add anything else I wanted. So I told them how useless I thought they were, especially as they had admitted to a problem that day and it should have been easy enough to look up their records and see what had happened.

These surveys are all clearly done by computer and I expect they get out a figure that tells them what percentage of people were satisfied. But if, as a result of it, they can't even be bothered for a human being to look at the results and give me a call when I'm clearly NOT satisfied, what IS the point of doing it?

But back to my missing £15. My wife then went back to the T-mobile shop and spoke to the manager. It transpired that my wife had bought the phone, and she guessed at her password and got it right. Now, she had the phone, the "payment successful" receipt and the Top-up card it was made on. But "customer services" (note the quotation marks!) were not happy with that. They needed it faxed to them and we would hear within 5 working days. They took my wife's mobile phone number so they could get in touch with her. Neither my wife nor the manager were happy about that. Especially as they had spent getting on for an hour trying to sort it out.

I realise now what must have happened. They didn't just have "some problems", but a pretty catastrophic systems failure that meant not only did they not update accounts with the money they had been topped up with, but also they didn't even know what accounts this had happened to. This, to me, can be the only explanation - but, of course, they wouldn't admit to it.

Well, five days later, no contact to my wife, but I got a text message to say, "Your faulty voucher has been received and the credit has now been added to your account." What a cheek! My faulty voucher? No! Their very faulty systems! Any word of apology? Of course not! After all, it's T-mobile.

Travelling by train, continued

Further to my tale of our train trip (below), an observation.

Remember when trains pulled in to a station? On Virgin trains it is now a "station stop" (after all, why not use two words when one will do?) and on Cross Country trains it is a "calling point"(!!)

That reminds me, on our black plastic rubbish sacks from Basildon Council, it very sensibly asks that we wrap up any sharp objects before putting them in the sack. Why? To ensure no injuries to their "collection operatives". What happened to good old-fashioned bin men?

Train travel

Whilst we were on holiday (see blog entry below), my wife and I had to go to a funeral. It was in Warrington and we were near Totnes, in Devon. We entered the stations on the Internet and found we could do the journey in about four and a half hours, with only one change of train. Although on the way back it was quicker by half an hour to do two changes, so we opted for that.


I know some some of my blog followers work in the rail industry, so I thought they in particular would be interested to hear that for the return journey (3 trains) the punctuality rating was 33%!


Let me explain. We had about 12 minutes between train one stopping at Wolverhampton and train two timetabled to arrive there. However, our first train was running about 12 minutes late! It was a Virgin train and we explained this to the conductor when he came round to check our tickets. He knew of the situation as a number of passengers needed that connection and promised to update us over the PA system. And he did. He explained he had been in touch with the signal box and they were ensuring that our train arrived first.


Then a few moments later another message; he had learned that we were arriving on platform 2 and our connection was arriving on platform 4! So he advised us to make haste, but explained that the station staff were aware of the situation and would give us a reasonable time to get across.


So full marks to that Virgin conductor! And it illustrates that as it is possible to be in contact with stations and signal boxes, they can pass on information to passengers about what is happening when there's a problem.


So, all was going well and we were on time for the Cross Country train from Birmingham New Street to Totnes. BUT, when we arrived at Birmingham, the information boards said it was running 50 minutes late! Our hearts sank. But my wife said that for once she was pleased that I'm a bit of a nerd. You see, I'd picked up a timetable for our route when we first arrived at Totnes in the morning. And I could see that the next train from Birmingham to Totnes was due in 30 minutes! And if this one was not delayed, we could catch that. As this one started in Manchester and the one we were due to catch started in Edinburgh, I thought this was quite possible. And it was!


So we boarded this one. We did not have reserved seats, but we found out there were NO reserved seats on this train and as it was not crowded we got a seats at a table. Unfortunately, although it started on time, it was 20 minutes late by the time we arrived in Totnes- no explanations.


So that was our foray on the trains. We were pleased we were able to get to the funeral and see relatives we had not seen for some years. All in all, not too bad a service on the railways. And as we had bought our tickets in advance, they were at the 2010 rate.

Back from a holiday

We've had a week off. Down in Devon with the family. We had a cottage on a farm. Luckily a local farmer had ensured the roads were cleared of snow. You have to travel for at least a mile before you get to a road that is more than a single track! The main Exeter to Plymouth road (the A38) is dual carriageway, quite a good quality road. We turned off for the farm we were going to; up the slip road and you are straight away on a single track road. Very rural!



The local village had no shop, but it did have a pub and a church. We visited both on Sunday. There was a family service at the church, but the two or three usual families that attend were away, so it was just our grandchildren. I think the vicar was quite pleased, he had a talk about advent calendars (I'm not telling what he said as I've made a note of it to use next year!). I have to say they were very friendly and didn't mind our two year old running up and down the side aisle.



The car park for the church and the pub was the same. So it was easy to slip from one to the other for lunch...



As we walked back along the single track road to the farm, we came across this note pinned to a gate.

Ah! The countryside!